Posts

#106

The frustration's kicking in. Haven't You done enough? I know these are all a test. I know these are all what is necessary for what is needed. But— These are Your mysterious ways. But can't You show any shred of sympathy? I know You see things differently, but can't You see in our eyes? We are in anguish. We are in despair. And still You hold us for the challenge You so require for the worthy. What of the rest? They aren't all brave souls. They aren't all soldiers of Your faith. Should they be disregarded? Does the sin of being unworthy rightfully deserve hell, even on Earth? I know I am one whose soul would one day burn, but... don't we at least deserve an apology? Or if not, at least a brief respite before eternal damnation? We are the strays, after all. Can we at least get relief before being cast out? Or are we unworthy even of Your slightest, tiniest, itty-bitty... blessing? But who am I to ask? I'm going to hell anyway.
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#105

I'm tired, Lord. I lashed out at You. I said the cruelest things. I renounced You. I named every wound I believed You gave me. I hated You for so many things. I'm tired, Lord. Exhausted. Where is the miracle Your faithful always promised? I am a man of little faith, yet here I am— still praying. I am unworthy. I am unworthy. I am unworthy.
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#104

You're dying. You're breaking apart. You're at war inside yourself. You're sinking. You're drowning. Tell me honestly. You're just faking all of it, right? And even still— Despite all that— You were able to save someone. You managed to save someone. Someone who— maybe not in the exact same predicament as you, but still— Still! You saved someone.
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#103

The world owes you an apology. All the heavens do too. I know you're always hopeful. You're praying. Despite saying you aren't faithful, still you are hoping. Hoping for something better. Hoping for prayers answered. Hoping for something. And despite you saying all that nonsense, I know you didn't mean that. I know you didn't mean any of it. You just want to be saved.
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#102

Come now! Do not lose faith. That is simply how Our Lord God guides us toward what we are truly destined for. Do not dwell too much on the skirmishes unwon, the petty gambles lost, or the love broken without meaning. You are far better off at the promised end than within these unsung moments scattered across distant eternity. Do not worry. Do not fret. Do not lose faith. Calm down. Breathe. Let the universe conspire within the will of Our Creator.
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#101

Forgive me, please… for what I am feeling. But… I could not help but grieve and deny… the miracles overflowing and the love I am enveloped in. I am unworthy… I am sad. I cannot save them… I am helpless… Forgive me… for my sadness being greater than… what I am worth.
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#100

And just like that… all the miracles I am supposed to see, feel, and even be grateful for— and even those I have received, and soon may receive… feel… feels like… they are not there. I am ungrateful. I am unhappy… I… can’t help. For I am powerless… I am grieving, for I cannot be of help to them.
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