AI Journey

I grew jealous as the moon had kissed you before I ever could. Though she is eternally farther from you and me, the distance between us is just the same, or perhaps even greater. But why should I be jealous, when, from somewhere far away, perhaps not as distant as planets apart, the moon herself should be even more envious? For as she gazes upon us, her light illuminates not just you or me, but two souls together, side by side.

For whatever you do, You do not look the devil in the eyes. You do not learn his language. You do not seek to understand why he does what he does. You do not get to understand why he, too, wishes to live. You do not get to watch the tears fall from his eyes. You do not need to know what he fears. You do not need to know what he is afraid of losing. You do not need to understand what he wishes for. You do not need to know that he is, just like you—

Was the Sky King in love, too? Was he so in love that he had to— commit such an act just so he could at least feel that sensation of being close to— I know the saying is true: that a monster is no longer a monster once you know its story. But— stories are what's remembered. And I know he was as broken as any of us, but at least he, a mortal human, a real person, flew like Icarus. Became Icarus. Became the son of Daedalus. Became the avatar of freedom. But what did restraints have to do with love? Oh, my dear friend, the god Cupid would be jealous of Icarus. And he, the Sky King himself, became more. It was not just love. It was not just the love for freedom. Oh! The Sky King lived more than any mortal or immortal ever could. He had loved even more than the god of love. He had— become. Oh! How tragic that his end came with nothing more than a barrel roll. Had he continued, even the birds and angels in the firmament would have grown jealous of the Sky King.

She is like wildfire burning through the glades and fields, Everything about her is bright, beautiful, and all— about her is just right. Butterflies flock towards her, and so do ants, moths, fireflies, even— Everyone just easily falls in love with her. And with all their million eyes, she keeps on burning, unaware of how beautifully enchanting she has become. Oh! Her love for me is like a wildfire taming an ocean. And I am an ocean. Not the biggest there is, but just about as deep as any. Though my depths are vast, my ebb, tide, and currents unstoppable, she is the force I reckon I cannot move. It's her laughter that calms me, her smile that smooths my waves, it's her eyes that I let guide my currents— my stream of consciousness. I just can't say no to her, though how small she seems beside me. It's just that. I'm in love with her. I'm in love with her. I'm in love with her.

I can't believe how scary the inside of my mind is without you. I never liked— I do not particularly welcome the idea of both no tomorrow and sleep without waking. Yet— In my loneliness, such fancies entice me, draw me close to such untrivialities, matters of great consequence. I— now feel a certain inexplicable sadness, the kind both Sakura and the Little Prince felt before the snake took them. There is a great concoction of fear and bravery, of wanting to go and wanting to stay, of the many theories of the hereafter, of— goodbyes and please stays.

A voice inside my head warns me, "Stop the pursuit." Then I ask why. The voice replies, "She doesn't deserve you." I was taken aback. I was trying to— I'm doing my best, but— maybe I— maybe she doesn't actually deserve me. She needs someone better. And that is not me. "Don't pursue her anymore." Maybe I should. Maybe I shouldn't. Oh! I don't know! "Just think of what happened as one long, beautiful dream. Nothing more." Sooner or later, I would forget it all. Tears won't be shed for such fleeting dreams. Tears won't— "You will hurt." Another voice spoke. Deeper and more distant. More painful. The first voice already hurt, but this feels like a paper cut. I— Have no words. One spoke the truth, the other spoke another truth. Both are bleeding me without a drop of crimson. "You deserve to be loved too," said the other voice. But— "You deserve to be loved too."